Ten Commandments of Marriage (for Guys)

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  • Throw her a bone once in a while on the pursuit of her own dreams. It’s not all about you – focus on her dreams, support her passions and pursuits.  Even if this means, and here it comes: hanging in Hobby Lobby for an hour while she ‘puts together a decorating scheme for the hallway’… trust me, most of those stores have something that might peak your own interests – I always liked the HO trains and stuff at Hobby Lobby.  Be supportive.
  • Never put her down to or in front of others. Never! Talk positively about your mate – this lets the world know how much you respect and love her. And in this day of social media it will get back to her anyway, so make it positive.  Love and Respect - the two interior lineman protecting against infidelity and other negative things that can go wrong.
  • This one can be tough, depending on your actual age, physical condition and so on… but if you can learn to give physical affection without a sex-payoff you’ll be miles ahead in her eyes. This is not to say your wife can’t be a hottie, and it’s not to say that if you give her a nice hug that it won’t progress to sex, BUT that would be her choice.  Learn to snuggle at night, let her lay on your shoulder to go to sleep and let her go to sleep even if your arm is tingly and you can’t get to the remote control.  Not all touching amounts to foreplay, just enjoy the ‘touch’. This one can pay off big dividends. (Side note: never keep ‘score’ on what you do vs. what you receive in a relationship)
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  • Let her Win. In terms of paint color on the living room walls or where the couch sits, what do you really care?  You want a sandwich, a cold beer and the remote control.  Let her make all the other decisions, which restaurant, even (and this is hard for some men) let her hold the remote control now and then when you’re in the room. You’ll be amazed at what letting her have a little power will do.  Caution: don’t become totally wishy-washy, if she doesn’t have a clear preference for a restaurant, or she says ‘whatever you want’ then have a firm decision ready to go.  You don’t want to be seen as wishy washy, weak or indecisive.  Cause no matter how many buckets of Dessert Sand Tone she rolls onto the walls, she depends on you for Major decisions – like when to evacuate or not, for a hurricane.
  • communicate.  I’m not just referring to talking, which women will do incessantly, you know the run-on gabble that’s in the background with the radio on while driving someplace… no, this is about communication.  If she’s asking a lot of questions it’s usually not an interrogation to catch you in some little lie.  She is genuinely interested in your life, away from her.  If she asks you about your day – take a moment, remember some details about something and tell her. Plus, communication is always a good thing.  A ‘backdoor’ communications channel between the US and The USSR prevented a nuclear war in October of 1962.  And when you have good communication the need for lesser lies, e.g., the true cost of your guitars, guns, tools, boating accessories, etc., need not be hidden.  Communicate Man!
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    Getty Images

    Finally know that all habits are learned, make this list a habit and you’ll always be the smiling man.  Heck if you could do say 7 to 9 of these consistently out of the 10 you’ll have a happier life.