Again: Turkeys Can’t Fly
While Florida typically leads the world in a category I call "stupid news", Arkansas definitely runs a close second. Now, a local animal rights activist in the northern Arkansas burg of Yellville has lodged a complaint with the FAA that a small plane pilot has "terrorized" a group of turkeys by tossing them out of the plane at altitude for the entertainment of grounded festival goers.
The turkeys are the star attraction in the turkey drop that apparently has been going on since the mid-1960s, though the Federal Aviation Administration has never investigated before, because they have never considered the turkeys to be "projectiles". Seriously.
This has really happened; it isn't a recap of the 1970s episode of WKRP In Cincinnati, although the local paper mentioned that story, as well. The article also features a photo of the plane turkey bombing the Yellville Turkey Trot Festival.
Life for turkeys about this time of year is terrifying enough without trying to make them into paratroopers, so for the last dang time: turkeys can't fly.