Black Hole or ‘Time Warp’ Discovered near Las Vegas
Recently a paranormal expert has claimed to discover a time anomaly in the desert near Las Vegas. Utilizing an advanced technological device called a differential time rate meter, or DTM, Joshua Warren claims to have measured actual differences in the passage of time in several locations on the outskirts of Las Vegas.
OK, let me get the jokes out of the way before proceeding; your wife is not going to accept a time warp as an excuse to account for those several hours you went missing from her while y'all were in Vegas.
The amazing thing about the device is it can measure a time differential within 100 feet because that's as long as the cable will stretch. The inventor of the device, a Silicon Valley engineer named Ron Heath has apparently not been spotted since selling the device to Warren.
Another witty observation: no doubt there is a time warp near Vegas, after 70 years of not having clocks on the gaming floors, you know all that time had to go somewhere.
Warren says he's made these measurements and observations in several places around Vegas, with time slowing down over the 100 feet, (remember that's about 10 feet past first base on a baseball field) by some 20 microseconds. According to his measurements at that rate, you'd lose a minute and three seconds over a mile if my math is correct and it probably isn't.
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Last joke about this story: Boy, they really take daylight savings time seriously in Nevada.
But on the other hand consider, sometimes these lunatic fringe individuals we chuckle at, may be onto something. Only time will tell.
One final, last jab for those of a certain age that want to do the time warp: It's just a step to the left.