Find a Woman; 5 Easy Steps
I have been following with a yawning interest my friend and down-the-hall colleague Gary Shannon's recent short-lived experiment with computer dating, here's his final 'I quit' installment. I'm not laughing at you Gary, I'm laughing with you, and if you believe that I have a bridge to sell you cheap, you just have to have it moved here from Brooklyn.
6 Pack Abs? I Have the Whole Keg!
And now you may say: 'you're Lonesome George!, what do you possibly know about having or finding a woman?" and to that I answer it's a selective status as well as radio moniker, I choose to be alone. But over my lifetime when I wanted company there was no lack of company for me to enjoy and I was married for a quarter-century, and not that I'm some wonderfully handsome babe magnet, it's just a matter of a lot of common sense and treating the women of your desires pretty much like you want to be treated.
If I Take a Long Walk On The Beach I'll Have My Metal Detector Along Too
So here's how the busy professional man in particular can find a woman, cause at a certain age one does not have time for bars, long walks on the beaches (seriously?) or even scrolling through thousands of bathroom staged self-taken photos of ladies on the computer to find a date or companion. Ninety percent of my tips can be done during the ordinary course of your busy day, let's go.
1. Talk to women. Just. Do. It. While this may seem almost natural and easy if you find yourself in an elevator to say 'howdy' to a female co-passenger when it's just the two of you, but it may be daunting in a crowded place, downtown Ryan street say, at lunchtime, etc., so practice. And don't just talk to women you're attracted to, talk to them all - it's good practice, as well as just... civilized. Open your mouth and speak - it will build your confidence and women loooove Confidence.
Just Open Your Mouth and Speak
2. Want to meet a woman? You have to be where they are. Of course there's the usual 5PM happy hours in town at the popular places where craft beers and sloppy sandwiches are sold... but think outside the box - where are the women? While all the other guys are at the popular happy hours practicing their 'come on' lines, you can push a shopping cart around the grocery store (you have to eat anyway) and don't be hesitant to compliment a complete female stranger on her looks - but be ready to quickly move on if she isn't open and receptive. And in most cases it's good to quickly move on anyway, cause that will create a mystery about you. Nope, you didn't want anything else other than to say how nice her hair looked and then zing you were gone! If you hang too long, it can get creepy fast.
But if you notice now she's found you on another aisle and speaks first, you may be on to something. Note: women pushing their carts quickly are usually in a hurry to get home and prepare dinner for their kids, husbands, etc., Other good hot spots are the paint aisles at the home improvement stores, the section where lighting and bathroom fixtures are sold, etc., Also meetups, charity events, etc., maybe you should volunteer to do something.
That Coat Looks Good On You It Brings Out the Green in Your Eyes
3. Try to figure out what it is you really have to offer and accentuate it. If you're a big workout guy then a short sleeve shirt that shows your guns is going to be OK - you'll attract other workout women as well. If sports are your thing, wear something that shows your interest in a sport or team. But in the winter, be sure to remove year's old ski-lift tags. Of course in SWLA many women may not notice your Vail or Eldora tag is three seasons out of date. If you're the intellectual type that likes to read, hit the bookstore.
4. Be Yourself. Can I underline that or should I put it into bold letters? How about a font size twice as large as the rest of this? Being yourself also allows you to be confident and as stated above, more than any $300 bottle of cologne or a black American Express card, confidence is attractive. And don't show off too much. Do you really want a woman that loves you for your ability to book lengthy cruises every two months to locales along the Mediterranean Sea coast or one that's going to be there to hold your head over the toilet the next time you're really sick?
Get Her Started Talking About Something She Likes
5. Plan Ahead. This isn't limited to where you're going to take her out - and what movie you'll see, although women do like a man with a plan. Look into subjects you know she likes and be prepared to bring them up in conversation and let her talk. At the risk of sounding sexist I will say that many women love to talk. You may only have to say "I saw the cutest dachshund on the way over to your house" and she'll take over from there on dogs, animals in general, and who know's what else. Be prepared to discuss things she likes.
This is by no means a comprehensive guide to find a woman, just a few self-starter tips. Be yourself, talk to women, find out what it is they like and give it to them. In general let them do most of the talking.
You're not going to hit it off with everyone, but always be honest, kind, considerate and nice. Do the things a woman appreciates, compliment her, send flowers, impromptu notes are cool. Compliments can not be understated, women live on food, water and compliments.
And if it doesn't work out, say goodbye like you said hello, in a friendly sort of way.