Health Dept Buzz Kill For Maine Weed Smoking Lobsters
It's looking as though for the time being lobsters at Charlottes Legendary Lobster Pound are going to have to go to dinner, rather the boiling pot of water that awaits them, not stoned, but stone cold sober.
Just a few days ago we reported on this story, click here, in which the owner of the restaurant in Southwest Harbor, ME., Charlotte Gill, was getting lobsters high prior to cooking them alive so they'd chill out some and it wouldn't hurt them as much at the end of the half pike into the bubbling heavily seasoned 240° pool. As chance might have it not only were we one of the first to note the story, but social media algorithmed it and other news sources have crackled and chuckled about this nationwide now for days.
All the attention was bound to draw the notice of the local health department. All good things got to come to an end, it's the same with the wildwood weeds, from Jim Staffords 1974 country music hit Wildwood Flower.
And so the Maine Health Inspection Program is investigating the practice but hasn't issued any rulings yet. Charlottes has voluntarily discontinued offering smoked lobster for now, but you can still get steamed, baked and so on with all the trimmings. Gill is confident that what she is calling high-end lobster will be back on the menu soon and is confident that after a full review of federal state and local laws and codes regarding lobster preparation and a few minor adjustments that they'll be back into smoking lobster meat in due time.
Briefly recapping, the owner of a lobster restaurant in Maine feeling empathy for the lobsters about to face a boiling death, and in a humanly sympathetic state of mind, so to speak, started blowing marijuana smoke into the water with the lobsters. The precise methodology to infuse the water with the smoke to date has not been publicly revealed by the restaurant and seems to be considered proprietary by Charlotte Gill. We only hope they're not simply pouring old stale bong water into the lobster tanks. Gill has stated that in tests of employees having eaten the lobster, they later tested negative for the presence of the substance.
However it's worth noting the quantifiable scientific validity of the in-house bench tests conducted by the kitchen crew on the sea-faring bottom-dwellers sadly can't be vouched for by any credible accrediting source, nor or any records, drawings, notes or other routine scientific methodologies or diagrams of the experiments are known to exist.
But to be sure, they're sure the lobsters are benefitting.
Gill told media, who had gathered in the parking lot of the restaurant on the spreading news the health department was in the building, It’s still a very alert lobster, but there’s no sign of agitation, no flailing of legs, no trying to pinch you. So calm, in fact, that you’re able to freely touch the lobster all over without them trying to strike at you or to be aggressive in any way.
How nice, they get your lobster stoned and fondle him all over before dumping into the boiling water, that's so much more pleasant to know. Next spring Imma try having some ice cold beers with a few crawfish before they go swimming with the potatoes and corn.
It is legal in Maine to grow marijuana for your own use, and Ms. Gill does have a license, however, the practice of stoning the lobsters is not. One health department spokesman said food served at licensed eateries that had been in the presence of a contaminant such as pot smoke would be treated as adulterated and subsequently illegal.
Adulterated and stoned. This story is going off the pun-and-sarcasm possibility rails now. There are double-entendre's barking and scratching at the door.
But the whole exercise is pointless according to Northeastern University Professor of Marine and Environmental Sciences and Biology Joseph Ayers. They're much simpler than insects, they can't report. This is really from the perspective of how we expect verification from humans. You're probably never going to get that from a lobster.
In other words, the lobsters can't feel pain. The mosquito you smacked earlier probably feels more pain than a lobster. But his best answer may have come after being asked whether lobsters could actually get high on weed to which Ayers simply said who the hell knows?
The beat goes on up in Maine at Charlottes Legendary Lobster Pound and Ms. Charlotte is probably de-stressing temporarily without her taped-up claw friends, we'll let you know when the health department makes a determination.
Here's hoping Ms.Charlotte never discovers how cattle are treated just prior to becoming roasts or the empathetic chef may come down here and the term smoked bar-b-que may take on a whole new meaning.