Her Duffel Bag Oinked
Reason Approximately No. 352 I don't like to fly: The Other Passengers
Recently, travelers on a US Airways flight from Connecticut to the UK were settling in for the trip. Most of them were happy the airline hadn't seated them next to a pig. Figuratively speaking, anyway. (You know what I'm talking about.)
Then, they all realized there was literally a pig onboard. One passenger said he thought the lady had a rather large duffel bag, until he began to smell it and it began to oink.
Still no problem, as the parent company, American Airlines, had allowed the pig to travel because it is listed as an "emotional support" animal. However, at some point, the pig determined he'd heard the old phrase "when pigs fly" one too many times somewhere, and decided he needed to get off the plane.
Some of the passengers seemed terrified as the approximately 70-pound pig wandered up and down the aisle. The owner even tried strapping it to the arm of his seat with the seatbelt, but that didn't work.
Eventually, the animal became so disruptive that it and its owner had to be ordered off the plane at the next stopover.
There are no bacon and ham jokes associated with this post, but passengers did later complain about being charged an extra $50 fee for hay and swine litter.