My Facts of Life
There are some things in this world that I have come to expect. Are they all good things? No. I am basically the human version of Murphy's Law. I'll go ahead and list a few examples below of what I like to call "My Facts of Life".
1. If I go to get coffee in the morning from the break room, it will be empty. It doesn't matter if there is only one person in the office; they will drink all the coffee and they will not make any more.
2. If someone goes number 2 in the restroom at work, I will be the person that walks in afterwards. I will get hit with the giant cloud of stink, every time.
3. If there is even the slightest crack in a sidewalk, I will trip. Heck, occasionally there doesn't even have to be a crack.
Example: When I finished my paperwork for this job, I walked out and fell. I had to come to work with a skinned knee the next week and pray no one had seen it.
4. I will swear on a stack of bibles that the train in Westlake knows my schedule and knows when I'm going to be late. If I am even 5 minutes behind leaving for work, the train will slowly creep by and make me 20 minutes late.
5. If I want to look nice for something, my child will come up to me and destroy my clothes. She will either wipe her runny nose on my clothes or she will have some sort of mystery stickiness on her hands that will transfer to me. It never fails.
I've come to expect things of this nature to happen to me. I've accepted it. Heck, I may even laugh when they happen now. Am I the only one that feels like sometimes they're the butt of the universe's joke?