There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute: Jim Bakker’s Back
Most of us weren't around back in the day when Phineas T. Barnum first opened his "oddities' museum. He delighted in bringing odd and never before seen natural oddities to the public. He not only invented the circus (a traveling form of the museum) but the sideshow as well. When asked how he could charge so much for entry into his shows he allegedly remarked 'there's a sucker born every minute'.
It was a time in America when people had never seen an elephant in person, or super small people like General Tom Thumb, The Fiji Mermaid or the overly grown, overly fat, overly skinny, overly hairy or what have you.
Barnum may have sometime pulled the wool over people's eyes, but the self-admitted showman turned politician also worked for good, starting the Bridgeport Hospital and as mayor of the town improved the water supply, brought gas lighting to dark city streets and enforced the alcohol and prostitution laws.
Huckster yes sometimes, humanitarian also yes and with a lasting legacy. Barnum took your money but you got a lifelong mostly happy experience to look back on or a better city to live in.
With Jim Bakker, America's 20th Century wannabee spiritual leader all you get is the huck from the huckster. Disgraced and run off the television in the late 80s from his 'PTL' (Praise the Lord and Pass The Loot) club for a sex scandal, he lied about that and went to federal prison. Now he's back and selling six packs of water for $150 a pop. It's not holy water, of course, it's more likely out of his kitchen sink, the bottles are 28 ounces. Just a sip will cost you about a dollar.
It is kind of special water in the sense that Bakker calls it "Extreme Survival Water". I think the only extreme surviving going on for the 78-year-old is suckers padding his bank accounts.
But there's more, with Jim Bakker there usually is, he's selling land that he claims will be the safest place on earth during the Apocalypse. Bakker claims his land was chosen by God (naturally) and the Ozarks will be the safest place to be 'when the earth's on fire'.
I'll grant that any day in the Ozarks is probably safer than walking certain sections of Baltimore, Detroit or Chicago but come on, are you kidding?
And of course, fans of his "The Jim Bakker Show" broadcast from Branson with his new wife Lori, who doesn't go in for the greasepaint look like the late Tammy Fay did, are shelling out their hard-earned dollars, or social security benefits as fast as they can to Jessica Hahn's former beau.
If you're a glutton for punishment you can read the rest of the miserable story or order your Extreme Survival Water and land here, you sucker.