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Wow! Seen this?

It’s been a few years since I noticed I could no longer hit the across the table rail-shots to the far corner pocket, a maneuver in which precision must be to the degree.

Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman in The Hustler
Corbis via Getty Images

Before long an optometrist delivered me the news that i needed to wear glasses for sharp vision beyond about 4 feet.  This is not to say everything is out of focus at all… but there’s a degree or two of inexactness that causes the billiard shot or the 9 foot putt go off by just that much too much.

At that time one of the options offered to me were contact lenses and I answered out-of-hand ‘no’. I’m one of those that can’t stand anything touching my eye. I don’t ‘drop’ eye drops onto my eye, I place the opening of the bottle just at the outer edge of the eye and kind of let it ‘roll out and spread’ over my eye.  Like pancake batter going onto the grill.

I’ve avoided discussions of laser surgery to correct my little problem because I’m told that you can ‘see’ what the doctor is doing to your eyeball the whole time.  Just the thought of that kind of freaks me out.

Woman preparing to insert contact lens i
Time & Life Pictures/Getty Image

Now appears a woman from Britain, of course (you gotta love socialized medicine) who showed for her cataract surgery only to have doctors discover 27 contact lenses in her eye!

My contact-wearing friends swear they can tell the instant anything is out of place and occasionally entertain us with odd head-rolling-blinking-eyelid-pulling episodes in the middle of dinner!

According to the Bellingham Herald it’s unclear how long the woman had lived with the contacts in her eye – which presented as a ‘blue mass’ that was all stuck together.

It’s unclear as well how a string of eye-doctors referring her through the Great Britain single-payer medical system and upwards to the surgery ward over a long matter of months all missed this pile of contacts until they started the actual cataract surgery.

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